DFHC 9/12/2011

Ask Cooooooooooool Daddy

Dear Cool Daddy: I’ve seen a stretched Hummer, a stretched VW bug, even a stretched 1957 Chevy. Is there any vehicle they won’t stretch? …from S. Armstrong, Long Beach

Dear S. (which I’m assuming stands for…um…Susan…): I know what you mean. The Hummer was extreme enough, at least for civilian use, right? Honey, we’re gonna need a bigger car-port. And that Chevy above, you have to be careful when it’s a side-view…easily photoshopped, altho that one looks kosher enough to me, and I have seen a real one, so it has been done.

But it’s funny about the VW…they actually had that themselves in a 1971 ad, and it wasn’t just an “artist’s rendition,” but a real vehicle somebody else had put together for the hell of it. Later, of course, things would get out of hand…and the retro-Beetle wasn’t immune, either…

Anyway, I made a mental list of possibilities, then went cruising the internet to see what I could see…

Corvette? √ check…altho you kinda wish they hadn’t bothered to go to all that trouble…well, at least it wasn’t a String Ray split-window! And below is a cut-and-paste classic I did in the 1980s…and in the interest of full disclosure, I must report that I couldn’t resist retouching it just a tad for it’s blog debut…sue me..

Jeep?  √ check…and these aren’t one-of-a-kind customs, but actual after-market models you can have for your very own.

Hearse?  √ check…found this one, a Mercedes from Germany…So who died? The entire PTA, actually…it was horrible…and altho it’s not the same thing, they also had an interesting illustration of what you might call “your last 1959 Chevrolet.”

Motorcycle?  √ check…you wouldn’t think so, but so help me…

Batmobile?  √ check…I found one of those weird-ass ones…not my Batmobile, but I’ll tell you this: if nobody’s done it to a real car, you can bet somebody’s done it to a plastic model kit, and sure enough…

Yellow Cab? √ check for the Checker…it’s so long it has 3 meters! Reminds me of the Most Interesting Man in the World…when you share a taxi, you watch him, not the — oh, never mind. But I had this idea too, way back when…I called it the InfiniBus…based on the real-life Aerobus Limousine, which had only 8 doors, 4 per side…


Edsel?  I’ve seen ’em, but couldn’t locate one on this particular occasion…did find this interesting doodle for a possible 1961 model…drawn in 1958? Yup, they worked that far ahead.

Ice Cream Truck? Mail Truck? Pontiac Aztek? Came up dry…Also, no stretched HotDogMobile, so I made my own…notice the way you have to fiddle with the background trees in the middle, otherwise the repetition can give it away, you see…


WICKED BALLSY

And on the subject…d’oh!!…this photo might also be a fake, but I’ve heard of this kind of thing actually happening, so OK. What was it that girl said on that old TV commercial? The thing people remember most about their prom night are the memories…sounds about right…

shameless pluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugs…

Podcasts at http://stolfpod.podbean.com  and   http://thewholething.podbean.com

Other Daily blog at http://stolf.wordpress.com  (the legendary Stolf’s Blog)

More bloggage at  http://travelingcyst.blogspot.com  and  http://www.examiner.com/retro-pop-culture-in-watertown/mark-john-astolfi

Resume at http://travelingcyst.blogspot.com/p/resume.html

NEW!   >>>>>   Audio samples at  http://stolfspots.podbean.com/   <<<<<<

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