Ask Cool Daddy’s Mixed Nuts
Dear Cool Daddy: So is there or isn’t there going to be a Jeep Truck in our future? …from Smokey, in Banditburg, CA
Dear Smokey: Boy oh boy, it looks like they’re thiiiiiiiiiiiis close to pulling the trigger. The impetus of course is the very popular Gladiator show truck (below, bottom right) that’s been making the rounds. The overwhelming positive response has got them crunching the numbers big-time, trying to figure out if it’s really do-able….in the proud tradition of the Jeep pickup (1947-65), the Wagoneer-based Gladiator (1962-88), and the Cherokee-based Comanche (1985-92).
This new one would be built off the 4-door Jeep Unlimited platform. But there are several after-market kits and conversions available today if you can’t wait…and for $10 thousand over the cost of the original vehicle, it doesn’t sound that bad by today’s inflated standards.
Dear Cool Daddy: “Schwarz” means black in German, and “Neger” means Negro, so Arnold is a “black Negro”…sounds weird, but relatively straightforward to me, no?… from Whitey, in a Gray Area
Dear Whitey: How I wish it were so…but I’m afraid that you, my bleached friend, are suffering from what’s called Folk Etymology, specifically basing the origin of a word on how it sounds….like Manhattan was named after a man with a hat on. I’ve been guilty of this myself…thinking that the surname Duckworth referenced a pond of quackers, since “worth” is an old English word for pond or stream. Turns out it’s actually a corruption of “dyke ward,” someone who tends a dyke or dam.
Now the Governator has said it means “black plowman,” but he’s wrong, too…honestly, just because it’s your name, doesn’t mean you’ve got the right story. He correctly parses the word, not as Schwarze-negger, but as Schwarzen-egger…and “egge” does mean a plow or rake…to be technically about it, a harrow. But he’s from Austria, and there’s a mountain there called Schwarzenegg, meaning black ridge or corner. It’s also the name of a town in Switzerland…but when the mists of time get done swirling around something, who knows, right?
Dear Cool Daddy: My elderly parents will argue about anything…as Woody Allen said: “Even talk of the weather will lead to accusations and recriminations just short of gunfire.” Their latest kick is whether or not the Washington Monument is an obelisk. I really need your help. …from Belinda, Montgomery, AL
Dear Belinda: And you shall really get it. Not only is it a real authentic died-in-the wool-obelisk, but at 555 ft. 5 1/8 inch, it’s the tallest in the world. But listen…so which is the better ocean, the Atlantic or the Pacific? I was always kinda partial to the Indian myself…
I remember how cool I felt in the 8th grade when I joined the “in set” by getting a 3-color pen…till one day, somebody walked in with a 4-color pen…they’d added green. Hard lesson to learn, that. But I’ve used the Bic 4-way ever since…what some call a “nurse’s pen.” And now they’ve changed it, turning the ball at the top (left) into a loop (right)…as Superman once said: “What th–?”
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