DFHC 10/3/2011

Ask Cool Daddy at Breakfast

Dear Cool Daddy: I read recently in the Wall Street Journal that there are currently 11 different kinds of Cheerios available. Heavens to Murgatroyd, can it be that many? …from Trixie, in Lower New South Battle Creek Falls Center Junction

Dear Trixie: Actually, there may be 12, not 11…altho I’m with you, I wouldn’t have thought so many…4 or maybe 5…if you think Frosted Cheerios are real Cheerios, or just a sneaky relaunch of the old Frosty O’s, the kind polar bears liked, remember? Personally, I do just fine with plain original Cheerios, one of the  best tasting cereals ever, IMHO. A while ago, I accidentally bought the Honey-Nut version, and I couldn’t make it thru even one bowlful…I dumped them in the back yard for the birds and squirrels, but they wouldn’t touch ’em either…eventually the rain eroded them away.

But yeah, on their webpage, General Mills has 11 varieties in their “line extension,” as they call such things in the industry…seen above, and I’ve added in the introduction dates from Uncle Wiki, which look pretty accurate by my reckoning. But that might be 12 if you count Yogurt Burst Vanilla…they seem to be only promoting Yogurt Burt Strawberry, but the Vanilla is still available at Amazon.com at least…and the 2 came out debuted together in ’05.

In fact, Uncle Wiki seems to be surprisingly complete with their list of current and defunct Cheerios. Team USA Cheerios came out in conjunction with the 1996 Summer Olympics…the name later shortened to Team Cheerios. Cheerios and X’s…for playing tick-tack-toe at the breakfast table, natch…sunk like a stone in 1993…as did the year 2000 tie-in Millenios with 2’s added to the O’s…launched in 1999, 2 years early. Berry Burst Cheerios…in Strawberry, Strawberry Banana, Triple Berry, and also Cherry Vanilla…altho that last one I never saw…got a big push in 2003, but are now discontinued. Over all, they have a pretty good track record…more hits than misses, nez pah?

The only one Uncle Wiki fails to mention, and it’s a nit-picking sub-variety I suppose, is Multi-Grain Cheerios Plus from 1997. Still, like I say, I only eat the original…don’t like my yogurt…or cinnamon, if it comes to that…”bursting” on me, if you get what I’m saying.

Cheerios was originally called Cherrioats when it came out in 1941. The story is that in 1945 Quaker Oats accused them with trademark infringement for the “oats,” so they changed it…simpler times, I guess…especially since today you cannot  own a word as generic as “oats”…unless you spelled it “ohtts” or something like that…Cheeriohtts?…naw….

Wicked Ballsy

Interesting that the 2 times Cheerios added something other than O’s…X’s and 2’s…the cereal was a dud…they should have learned that lesson long ago, when Kellogg’s tried OK’s. First out in 1959…that guy wearing the skirt…yeah, you can’t see it but you know it’s there…was named Big Otis…very soon replaced by Big Yogi, but it was never a hit. For some reason tho, I remember thinking it tasted even been than Cheerios. Maybe because it just did.

shame-burst multi-plugs, now fortified with Vitamin X…

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